Vonkmanrot is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous fairy.

Vonkmanrot created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmanrot, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonkmanrot, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vonkmanrot's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Vonkmanrot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.