Zakvidvon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, resourceful meerkat.

Zakvidvon created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakvidvon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zakvidvon, he will destroy your home planet.

Zakvidvon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zakvidvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Worship no other gods but Zakvidvon.

5. Never talk about fire.