Tablip Nurtmitsab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, calm shrew.

Tablip Nurtmitsab created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tablip Nurtmitsab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tablip Nurtmitsab, it will turn you into a slug.

Tablip Nurtmitsab's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tablip Nurtmitsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Tablip Nurtmitsab loves dogs, so they must be respected.