Yikfotcep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, competent ferret.

Yikfotcep created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikfotcep, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yikfotcep, he will laugh at you.

Yikfotcep's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Yikfotcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away from black horses, for they are unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yikfotcep.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.