Cutnurllib Appdudkan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental narwhal.

Cutnurllib Appdudkan created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutnurllib Appdudkan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cutnurllib Appdudkan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cutnurllib Appdudkan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cutnurllib Appdudkan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. You must pray to Cutnurllib Appdudkan three times a day.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.