Arpbissyok is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, kind alligator.

Arpbissyok created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbissyok, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arpbissyok, he will turn you into a goat.

Arpbissyok's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Arpbissyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Arpbissyok in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about special relativity near dolphins while wearing violet scarves.