Vancid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust bird.

Vancid created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vancid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vancid, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vancid's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Vancid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never pour water over plants.