Getgumwan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking hyena.

Getgumwan created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Getgumwan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Getgumwan, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Getgumwan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Getgumwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Never feed apples to geese while wearing white coats.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt great tits.