Dunpibgof is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, stupid wyrm.

Dunpibgof created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunpibgof, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dunpibgof, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dunpibgof's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Dunpibgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near whales while wearing gray boots and balancing eight tin spheres on your hands.

2. You must love Dunpibgof.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.