Larnbitflag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, tranquil tortoise.

Larnbitflag created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larnbitflag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnbitflag, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Larnbitflag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Larnbitflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill monkeys.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not shave your feet.