Tunyokbonk is a god.
He takes the form of a plump, ruthless
swan.
Tunyokbonk created gold eight trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tunyokbonk, he will be surprised.
If you do not believe in
Tunyokbonk, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.
Tunyokbonk's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.
Tunyokbonk's Holy Commandments1. Never skip near otters.
2. Fast once a month.
3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
4. Never feed grapes to seals while wearing rings.
5. Do not hurt porpoises.