Somnarlvig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring walrus.

Somnarlvig created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Somnarlvig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somnarlvig, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Somnarlvig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Somnarlvig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.