Larpveenarp is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, emotional dryad.

Larpveenarp created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpveenarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Larpveenarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Larpveenarp's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Larpveenarp's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect five platinum sculptures of Larpveenarp on top of important buildings.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Feed all hungry birds.