Bamzakkar is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, effective gnu.

Bamzakkar created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamzakkar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamzakkar, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bamzakkar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bamzakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never sing near voles.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Bamzakkar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Run away from yellow sharks, for they are unholy.