Minvoltun Natpomnur is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, capable sheep.

Minvoltun Natpomnur created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minvoltun Natpomnur, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Minvoltun Natpomnur, she will make you grow a tail.

Minvoltun Natpomnur's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Minvoltun Natpomnur's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Run away from red goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed lemons to dogs while wearing tights.