Goflibvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful dog.

Goflibvonk created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goflibvonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Goflibvonk, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Goflibvonk's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Goflibvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Goflibvonk on top of all buildings.

3. Feed all hungry tortoises.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about moons.