Gumtailfly is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, ill-tempered squid.

Gumtailfly created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumtailfly, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumtailfly, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gumtailfly's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gumtailfly's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gumtailfly in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never sing near sharks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gumtailfly.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gumtailfly.