Metfetlarg is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous squid.

Metfetlarg created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metfetlarg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Metfetlarg, he will not care.

Metfetlarg's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Metfetlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Hide from violet birds for they are unholy.

5. Metfetlarg loves seals, so they must be respected.