Bastvintal Bell is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil pig.

Bastvintal Bell created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastvintal Bell, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bastvintal Bell, it will remove you from existence.

Bastvintal Bell's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bastvintal Bell's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bastvintal Bell.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always obey Bastvintal Bell's priests.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always take life seriously.