Cubladarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, moody swan.

Cubladarp created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Cubladarp, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubladarp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cubladarp's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cubladarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Cubladarp loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always take life seriously.