Kabcutfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish dingo.

Kabcutfeb created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabcutfeb, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabcutfeb, he will turn you into a rock.

Kabcutfeb's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kabcutfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta foxes for they are unholy.

2. Never laugh in the presence of goats.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Never wear white kilts.