Gadlistwip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish centaur.

Gadlistwip created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadlistwip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gadlistwip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gadlistwip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gadlistwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always wear red.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Gadlistwip on top of all buildings.