Gepjarngep Lad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient cow.

Gepjarngep Lad created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjarngep Lad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gepjarngep Lad, it will think nothing of it.

Gepjarngep Lad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gepjarngep Lad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Worship no other gods but Gepjarngep Lad.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Never eat green fruit.