Hogbifbad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, two-faced tapir.

Hogbifbad created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hogbifbad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hogbifbad, she will be very unhappy.

Hogbifbad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hogbifbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Hogbifbad eight times a day.