Saktofzig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical elephant.

Saktofzig created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saktofzig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Saktofzig, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Saktofzig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Saktofzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never run in the presence of frogs.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Do not cook food in pots.