Badlimdib is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust monkey.

Badlimdib created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badlimdib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Badlimdib, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Badlimdib's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Badlimdib's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must love Badlimdib.