Yattmigmut Cetlagsak is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciful grasshopper.

Yattmigmut Cetlagsak created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattmigmut Cetlagsak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yattmigmut Cetlagsak, he will send you a sign.

Yattmigmut Cetlagsak's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yattmigmut Cetlagsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always treat manatees with great respect.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not eat melons.