Yastbidcuddam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic badger.

Yastbidcuddam created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yastbidcuddam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yastbidcuddam, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yastbidcuddam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yastbidcuddam's Holy Commandments

1. Yastbidcuddam loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not take Yastbidcuddam's name in vain.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.