Komlopcidfat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, able turtle.

Komlopcidfat created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Komlopcidfat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Komlopcidfat, she will turn you into a goat.

Komlopcidfat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Komlopcidfat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Komlopcidfat on top of all buildings.

2. Komlopcidfat loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.