Farnominwit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous hyena.

Farnominwit created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnominwit, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Farnominwit, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Farnominwit's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Farnominwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Hide if eight snails approach from the south.

3. Always look after injured horses.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Farnominwit.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.