Bedbastster is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, merciful monkey.

Bedbastster created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedbastster, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bedbastster, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bedbastster's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bedbastster's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing red shorts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

5. Never look at nebulae.