Flamgiltonk is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tiresome snake.

Flamgiltonk created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgiltonk, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flamgiltonk, he will throw large rocks at you.

Flamgiltonk's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flamgiltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flamgiltonk on top of all buildings.