Gebquambus is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered gorilla.

Gebquambus created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebquambus, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gebquambus, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gebquambus' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gebquambus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never feed lots of peas to gulls while wearing orange ear rings.