Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest is a god.

It takes the form of a large, loving aardvark.

Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cabgamfig Nakqueegbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dolphins.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear violet rings.