Hityarparf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful bat.

Hityarparf created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hityarparf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hityarparf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hityarparf's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hityarparf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Always obey Hityarparf's priests.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.