Jinvonksis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, confident eagle.

Jinvonksis created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Jinvonksis, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jinvonksis, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jinvonksis' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Jinvonksis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about spacetime near squirrels while wearing orange jumpers.

5. You must never eat figs.