Gonsawapp is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow tortoise.

Gonsawapp created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsawapp, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonsawapp, it will curse you with boils.

Gonsawapp's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gonsawapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Gonsawapp loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hurt birds.