Fadfenquart is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fussy chinchilla.

Fadfenquart created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadfenquart, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fadfenquart, he will turn you into a tree.

Fadfenquart's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fadfenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away from indigo voles, for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick dogs.

4. Never mention shrews.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.