Volcaprenhakbogligcangov is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, generous bear.

Volcaprenhakbogligcangov created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volcaprenhakbogligcangov, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Volcaprenhakbogligcangov, it will turn you into a plant.

Volcaprenhakbogligcangov's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Volcaprenhakbogligcangov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.