Ripgonbod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awesome toad.

Ripgonbod created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripgonbod, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ripgonbod, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ripgonbod's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ripgonbod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about sheep.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never wear trousers.