Dinyakcip is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-confident slug.

Dinyakcip created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinyakcip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dinyakcip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dinyakcip's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Dinyakcip's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the north.

4. Always help sheep.

5. Never jump in holy places.