Jipfutcub is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, confident narwhal.

Jipfutcub created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipfutcub, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jipfutcub, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jipfutcub's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jipfutcub's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Worship no other gods but Jipfutcub.

4. Hide if five tortoises approach from the south.

5. Always help seals in need.