Hasbarntad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, resourceful penguin.

Hasbarntad created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasbarntad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hasbarntad, she will not invite you to parties.

Hasbarntad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Hasbarntad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Hide if six mice approach from the east.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never sit near monkeys.

5. Do not kill bats.