Badbegquart is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective elephant.

Badbegquart created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badbegquart, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Badbegquart, she will make you grow a tail.

Badbegquart's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Badbegquart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Badbegquart on top of important buildings.

2. Badbegquart loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Never feed onions to frogs while wearing black stockings.