Dunsombass is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid hydra.

Dunsombass created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunsombass, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dunsombass, it will laugh at you.

Dunsombass' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Dunsombass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.