Omtjapgess is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, stupid meerkat.

Omtjapgess created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtjapgess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Omtjapgess, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Omtjapgess' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Omtjapgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never wear red ear rings.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Omtjapgess in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.