Quagbatkad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful narwhal.

Quagbatkad created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quagbatkad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quagbatkad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Quagbatkad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quagbatkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.