Nakcamster is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented chicken.

Nakcamster created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Nakcamster, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nakcamster, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nakcamster's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nakcamster's Holy Commandments

1. Nakcamster loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.