Gomcetjop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional gerbil.

Gomcetjop created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomcetjop, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gomcetjop, he will turn you into a rat.

Gomcetjop's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gomcetjop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gomcetjop.

2. Hide from purple monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Run away if three ants approach from the west.

4. Never wear blue hats.

5. Do not kill pigs.