Cumdissgem is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, slow cobra.

Cumdissgem created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumdissgem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cumdissgem, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Cumdissgem's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Cumdissgem's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cumdissgem.

5. Do not hurt grasshopers.